Better Than That
by new moonfull moon
Summary: Hughes has decided that Roy is not capable of finding himself a wife and decides to find one for him. Mustang finds out and trys to prove that he can chose a wife or at least a steady girlfriend just fine on his own. Who will prove triumphant?
1. Know Me Better Than That

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. **

"Patience…likes dogs…deals with mood swings…. understanding…" Maes Hughes was currently mumbling to himself while leaning back in his best friend Roy Mustang's chair. In his left hand was a pad of paper while his right hand held that pencil that was writing down notes.

Roy knew he should have stayed in bed this morning. Don't ask him why but he just had a feeling that something was going to happen. To be more specific something was going to happen to him. But being the idiot he was decided to ignore it and come to work anyway.

"Hughes why are you in my chair?"

Maes looked up and smiled at him "Trying to get some thinking done."

"Then why don't you use your own chair back in eastern headquarters?"

Hughes put his hands behind his head as he used his foot to kick off the desk, making the chair spin around. "But your chairs so much more comfortable! And look! It spins too!" He spun around one more time before seeing the look Roy was giving him. "What's was look for? I came I took time out of my day to come of visit my best friend and I don't even get a hello?"

Tipping the chair so that Maes toppled out of it Roy took his place and made himself comfortable. He started shifting and soon stood up. Turns out he sat down on Maes' small blue note book. Sitting down again he flipped threw it, "What's this?"

"Hey that's mine!" Hughes lunged at Roy buy he just rolled out of the way.

"Must like dogs. Patient. What is all this for?"

Hughes was sitting cross-legged where he landed after missing Roy. "That me friend is a list of qualities needed in a woman."

Mustang raised an eyebrow. "Your married Maes."

"Not for me for you! I have taken it upon myself to find you a wife."

"WHAT! WHY!"

Hughes leaned back until he collapsed on to the floor. Putting his hands behind his head he continued. "Well just the other day me, Gracia, and my little Elicia attended a wedding. Elicia was the flower girl and had on the cutest little dress. It was this rosy pink color with a white sash around the waist and-"

"Back to the point Hughes!"

"No need to yell Mr. Grumpy. Anyway Elicia asked me why Uncle Roy wasn't married and I didn't have an answer. Then I got to thinking. Why aren't you married? I mean your twenty-eight! You should be married off to someone and make my little Elicia the flower girl at the wedding! Not to mention me as the best man."

"But I don't want to get married!"

"Details. Details." Hughes just brushed him off. "So here I am making a list of all the qualities a woman would need to put up with you and you know what? I think I know someone!"

"It doesn't matter because I'm not going to get married!"

"Riza Hawkeye is perfect! She can make you do your work. She's pretty and smart. Plus she knows you well! I'm willing to bet you could date other girls for years and they still wouldn't know you better than Hawkeye! I'm telling you she's the real deal! She likes you for you unlike those other girls that you're always dating!" Hughes glorified.

Roy felt a need to defend himself. "Hawkeye is most defiantly not for me! It would never work and what do you mean she likes me for me? The women I date like me for me!"

Hughes shook his head. "That's were your mistaken my friend. The women you date don't like you they like the image you represent. The power. The money. That's why I can't trust you to pick out your own wife and must do so for you."

"I could find a girl by myself that likes me and knows me well. Someone who can deal with me better than Hawkeye."

Hughes laughed. "Nice try Roy. Nobody can deal with you like Hawkeye. The only reason you probably get out of bed in the morning is because if you didn't show up you know Riza would show up threatening your very existence. Besides no one, no matter how long you date them, will ever know you as well as Hawkeye."

"I could so!"

"Prove it then. Go out and date. After a few weeks or so see if they really know you or if they're in love with an image that time's bound to see through." Maes challenged.

"Fine I will and I'll prove to you that Riza is not a good match for me!"

"Fat chance of that happening. Oh will you look at the time? I have to get going! I'll be calling to check on your progress but I'm sure that you'll see that I'm right. See ya later Roy." Then Hughes was out the door.

Roy leaned back in his chair and sulked. "I'll show him. The women I date like me because of me not because of my position…right?"

Picking up the phone he dialed a number. After a few rings some one picked up. "Hey Crystal? It's me Roy…yah the one from the bar. Listen would you like to out with me tomorrow night? …Great! I'll pick you up around six."

Roy hung up and cracked his knuckles. "This is going to be a piece of cake. How hard can it be to find a woman you knows me better?"


	2. I Love That Cat

_Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist._

**Few Days Later**

Hughes walked in to talk to Roy but was not prepared for the sight that met him. "Hey Roy! I just stopped by to-WHOA! What happened to you?"

Mustang has had better days. Much better.

"It was the girl I was dating. She had some serious separation issues with her cat. She took him everywhere. Now that wouldn't have been so bad if the thing wasn't evil! So in the beginning I thought no big deal he's a cat but when I tried to be nice and pet him he clawed me!" Roy rolled up his sleeves to prove his point. "See! It attacked!"

Hughes raised an eyebrow. "All those scratches are from her cat? Even the ones on your face?"

"Yah I got that because he came up and started rubbing my leg. So I figured he wanted to be picked up but when I bent down to do so he just pounces on me! He nearly took out my eye! So now I have my back on the floor and trying to keep the stupid thing from clawing my eyes out when Crystal walked in. Can you guess what she said?"

Hughes shrugged. "Can't say I do."

"She says 'I'm so glad you get along with him he doesn't normally take to strangers.' What the hell is up with that!" Roy threw his hands in the air. "She must have been blind. I was fighting for my life and she talks about how much I loved that cat!"

Hughes pulled up a chair next to his friend and rested his head in his hand. "Riza knows you don't like cats. Riza knows you're a dog person. When are you just going to admit that I'm right and you're wrong?"

"That was only one girl. The next one will be better." Roy glared at his best friend.

"Just give it up. Nobody's going to know you better than Hawkeye. Nobody else is going to be able to deal with you if you acted like yourself. And most importantly nobody else is perfect for you. It's a fact of life Roy. Just bow down gracefully." Hughes commented.

"No. I know I can find somebody just as good if not better than Hawkeye. I have a date next week with a girl named Michell. She has tickets to some concert and she invited me along."

"What concert?" Hughes asked.

Roy shrugged his shoulders and stared at his ceiling. "Beats the heck out of me. But trust me this one will be much better than the last one. I can tell."

"You know you should find out what concert your going to."

"Why?" Mustang questioned.

"Trust me it's always best if you know what you're getting yourself into. What are you going to wear?"

"She said to dress formally so probably a tux."

Hughes groaned and buried his head in his hands. He mumbled to himself. "Stupid. Stupid. Stupid Roy."

Mustang saw his friend reaction and got worried. "Maes? You okay? What's so stupid? Did I do something wrong?"

Hughes waved his hand in Mustang's general direction but kept his head down. "Yah you did something wrong. You agreed to go now your stuck. I wish you luck my friend you're going to need it."

"What's this horrible thing that I agreed to?"

"You're going to learn the hard way. I'll be back in a week or so to check on your progress. Try to survive until then okay?" Hughes then got up and headed for the door. Leaving a frustrated Roy Mustang behind.

Roy jumped out of his chair and run after Hughes. Catching his by the shoulder he spun him around and started to shake him. "What's going on Hughes? What exactly did I agree to that's so horrible? Tell me!"

Hughes just put a hand on his shoulder and shook his head. "I feel for you I really do." He pulled out of Mustang's grasp and started a very dramatic exit. "Ah Roy I knew him well! Such a kind and gentle soul! Oh why couldn't have just listened to me? Why? Now he's gone. Gone. Gone. What a way to go! Oh if only his ego wasn't so huge he might still be here today! Why must the good ones always die young?"

Soon Hughes cries could no longer be heard and Roy slumped back into his chair and slung and an arm over his eyes. He sighed as he thought about the way Hughes had reacted. 'What the hell have I gotten myself into?'

_"Oh she tells her friends I'm perfect and that I love that cat,  
oh but you know me better than that"_


	3. Into Culture Clean Up to My Ears

_ Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist._

**BANG**

**BANG**

**BANG**

"You know that's how you lose brain cells." Hughes commented from his place in Roy's swivel chair. Roy on the other hand just continued hitting his head against the wall, completely ignoring Hughes earlier comment.

**BANG**

**BANG**

**BANG**

"And those don't grow back."

Only then did Mustang stop bashing his head against the wall. Trying to regain his focus he walked over to his chair and promptly kicked Hughes out of it before sitting down himself. Leaning back he placed a gloved hand on his forehead. "Shut up Maes. I have a headache."

Hughes rolled his eyes. "Geez I wonder why?"

Mustang just sent him a glare.

Shrugging off his friend's attitude Hughes started to question his friend's behavior. "So why were you banging your head against the wall? No wait. Let me guess. It's because of your new girlfriend right? She took you to a classical concert?"

"That's exactly right! So the first one wasn't so bad I was able to stay awake through the whole thing but then she took me to another one. After about the third concert she tells me she wants to mix things up a little. Can you guess where she took me next?" Mustang questioned.

"The ballet?"

"Exactly! How on earth are you supposed to stay awake during those things? I nearly fell asleep!" Mustang ranted. "What happened to movies? Picnics? Clubs? Who on earth would willingly agree to go to the ballet for a date?"

"Actually you did." Hughes pointed out. Seeing his friends gloved clad hands twitch in frustration he waved his hands in defense. "I'm just stating facts! Nothing more!"

After a few deep breaths Roy had calmed down enough the let his hands relax. Leaning back in his chair he closed his eyes to try to relax. Then he remembered something that had been bugging him. Opening his eyes he stared at his friend. "Hey Hughes how did you know that she took me to the symphony and the ballet? I didn't even know."

"Every man has to go to the ballet or symphony at least once. It's like some unwritten law but we normally won't agree to it so the women have two choices into making us go. One is asking and looking really sad. Like if we even think about saying no they'll start crying. If they don't do that they tend to trick us into it." Hughes explained.

Roy thought over it for a moment before speaking out loud. "So when I said that she had tickets to some concert you assumed it was symphony?"

"Pretty much."

"Why didn't you warn me! By the time I dumped her I had culture coming out of my ears! The sophistication was nearly suffocating me! It was like wearing a shoe that's too small!" Roy complained.

Hughes clucked his tongue. "None of this would have happened if you would just listen to me."

"No. I refuse to believe that Hawkeye is the only one for me."

Hughes sighed. "Deny it all you want but it's fate and you can't run from fate. But since you'll keep trying whose up next?"

Roy broke out into a huge grin and his eyes lit up. "Her name's Heather. I met her at this little diner she works at and we've talked on a few different occasions. She's gorgeous! Long curly red hair and these bright green eyes make her a goddess on earth! I'm telling you she's the one. You know what they say, 'Third time's a charm.' Truer words were never spoken. "

"Whatever you say Roy. Take care of yourself. I'll see you around." Hughes got up and left the office.

Mustang propped his feet upon his desk and placed his hands behind his head. Grinning like a mad man he thought to himself, 'This time I know it's going to work. There's absolutely nothing wrong with this one. Prepare to be proven wrong Maes because here I come!'

_"I miss picnics and blue jeans and buckets of beer-  
now it's ballet and symphony hall.  
I'm into culture, clean up to my ears;  
It's like wearing a shoe that's too small."_


	4. She Thinks I'm Perfect I Swear

**Quick A/N: The little passages at the bottoms of the chapters are lines from the song "Better Than That" by George Strait. I might write out the whole song in the final chapter but no promises. **

Mustang whistled on his way to work. As he gained closer to his office he skipped a little. The great flame alchemist, survivor of the Ishval Massacre, and future furhur was skipping. To say that his fellow comrades were frightened slightly by his outward attitude would be true. They all just inched there way away from their superior. Everyone that is except Maes Hughes, who actually ran up and greeted him.

"Hey Roy! How'd that date go?" Hughes asked as he caught up with his friend.

"Dates actually. I've gone out with Heather three times since I last saw you. They've all been wonderful! I told you she's the one! Three has always been my lucky number." Mustang bragged to his friend. "Looks like you were wrong Hughes. Come on just admit it."

"You've gone on more than one date? Okay who forgot to tell me that the world was ending?"

Roy scowled at his friend. "The world isn't ending. Stop being a drama queen. It's not that often that I go out on numerous dates with the same girl."

"Really?" Hughes arched an eyebrow. "Then tell me my dear friend when was the last time you had a date that wasn't a one night stand?"

"Ah! Hmmm…" Mustang racked his brain trying to come up with one name.

Hughes waited patiently for his friend to come up with an answer. Five minutes…ten …fifteen. "Come on Roy! I'm not exactly asking the meaning of life here. Just tell me a name of a girl other than Heather that wasn't a one-night fling. "

"I know just give me a minute!" Mustang thought about it a little more before snapping his fingers. "Ariel! That's one!"

Hughes rolled his eyes at his answer. "An ex-stalker hardly counts as multiple dates."

"But it does count so there!" Roy retorted indignantly.

"Really Roy must you act so childish? You're a grown man and you're acting like a four year old whose been denied a cookie. It's really unbecoming." Hughes chastised. "What would your new girlfriend think of you?"

Instead of getting upset like Hughes thought he would Mustang just grinned. It was so wide a somewhat creepy that it reminded Maes of the cashier cat. He slowly inched himself away from his friend, as to avoid being noticed. It worked for the most part.

"As I said she's the one."

Hughes jumped a little and stopped his escape. Laughing nervously he asked, "What do you mean?"

Mustang placed his hands behind his head as he continued walking. "I can do no wrong with her. As far as she's concerned I'm the perfect specimen of the male species! It's great to be me."

"You perfect?" Hughes snorted at the idea.

"Yes me! She fell for my looks and swooned her with my charm! A combination no woman could resist! We talked and she couldn't get enough of my talent, my ambitions, my confidence!" Roy went on and on.

"Well as much as I hate to burst your bubble I don't think she's for you."

"And why not?"

"Because Hawkeye is the only one for you! It pains my heart to see you get your hopes up. No matter how far you run you can't run from the truth and the truth is that Hawkeye and you belong together! Trust me! Would I lie to you?" Hughes lectured.

"Yes."

"Fine I would but only if it was for your own good."

"In my personal opinion I think that you're the one in denial here. Heather's defiantly better than Hawkeye. Just you wait and see. I'll be the one at the top when this is all over."

Hughes waved him off. "If it makes you feel any better you just keep telling yourself that but the reality is that nobody's more perfect than you than Hawkeye. When it all comes down to it I will be victorious and you my friend will be sending out wedding invitations."

"For the last time I'm not getting married!"

"You act as if it's your decision."

_"She thinks I'm perfect, I swear.  
She likes my body, my class and my charm.  
She says I've got a confident air.  
She respects my ambition, thinks I'm talented too."_


	5. Bride Magazine & Rings

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.**

Mustang for the entire world looked like he had seen a ghost when he arrived at work after a lunch break, a few weeks later. His eyes were wide and his face was pale. Even Hawkeye had decided to cut him a little slack on his paperwork, he looked so spooked. So she just left him in his office to try and calm his nerves.

Hughes entered the office with two cups of cocoa. Using his foot he grabbed Hawkeye's swivel chair and wheeled it over to Roy's desk. Once it was where he wanted it he sat down and put one of the mugs on the desk. Prompting his feet up he took a sip out of his cup and looked curiously over to his friend.

Finally the silence was getting to be too much. "So Roy how are things with Heather? Still going out?"

"We're not together anymore. I broke it off at lunch." Mustang commented as he took a swing from his cocoa.

"Too clingy?"

"No."

"Too talky?"

"No."

"Was she cheating on you?"

"No!"

"Were you cheating on her?"

"No! Dammit Maes! She wanted to get married!"

Hughes had finished his cup and put it down. Lifting his hand he rubbed his forehead. "Let me get this straight. She told you she wanted to get married and so you broke up with her. Did I get that right?"

"Well she didn't say she wanted to get married in those exact words." Mustang shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "But she might as well! She was looking at Bride magazine and I caught her at a jewelry store looking at wedding rings! If that doesn't say propose I don't know what does!"

"Bet you wouldn't mind if it was Hawkeye. She's the one for you!"

Mustang groaned and buried his head in his hands. "How can I forget? You only remind me every time I see you."

"AHA! I knew it! You do like her!" Hughes yelled as he jumped to his feet and stated doing a little happy dance. "I knew it! I knew it! So when's the wedding?"

Mustang was shocked be his friends accusations. "When the hell did I saw I liked her that way? I have no memory of saying that at all!"

"But you didn't deny that you would like to be married to Hawkeye! It's improvement! You're considering the idea!" Hughes continued to dance about the room singing. "Roy and Riza, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Roy with a…""

Hughes never got to finish his sentence as wads of military documents were shoved into his mouth courtesy of his best friend. "That's enough out of you Hughes!"

A few minuets later Hughes was able to speak again. "Blah! Do you have any idea how nasty that was? My stomach won't be settled for quite a while. I'm sending you my medial bill if I get sick."

"Well you're not supposed to eat military documents Hughes and now look what you made me do! I have to go get replacement documents now to make up for the ones you ate!" Roy complained.

"I wouldn't have swallowed those documents if you hadn't had shoved them down my throat!"

"Well I wouldn't have shoved them down your throat if you hadn't been singing!"

"I wouldn't have been singing if you would just listen to me and marry Hawkeye!"

"So it's my fault for not marrying Hawkeye!"

"Finally! You realize your mistake! Now go out there and get her I'll be right behind you!"

"What! No! Wait! Let go of me Hughes and that's an order! As your commanding officer I demand that you put me down right now! This is insubordination! You hear me! I'll have you stripped of your position!" Mustang ranted.

"Oh look! There she is now. Hey Lieutenant Hawkeye! Over here!" Hughes tried waving her down from where he was standing with Mustang.

"HUGHES!"

_"Oh I caught her with an issue of Brides magazine,  
Starin' at dresses and picking out rings."_


	6. Shield

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.**

Gracia had decided to take Elicia out for a little mother daughter bonding time. They had gone shopping and had just finished eating a picnic lunch. Now Gracia was sitting on a wooden bench while Elicia was running around the park, when all of a sudden she heard yelling. Recognizing the voices she turned her head and sure enough coming over a hill was her husband and Roy Mustang.

Hughes was running down the hill as fast as his legs could carry him. He called out to his friend though he didn't slow down. "Roy! Buddy! Pal! You wouldn't harm your best friend, right? This is just a passing thing. I'm sure once you sit down and think about it you'll have a good laugh over this!"

"That's what you think! You're just lucky that Havoc came by and distracted Hawkeye!"

"I'm just concerned! If I don't do anything to get you married nobody will! I'm just looking out for you! I don't want you to die old and alone!"

"Hughes stop running so quickly! I need to kill you!"

"Is that supposed to make me stop?"

By now Hughes and Mustang had made it down the hill and were weaving around the little children and their parents. Out of the corner of his eye Hughes spotted something familiar. Looping around he found what he was looking for. "Elicia!"

The small girl looked up from her place on the ground. Once she saw him she broke into a huge smile. "Hi daddy! Are you here to play with me?"

"Yah! Hey how about we play a new game?" Hughes suggested as he scooped the little girl. Holding her in front of him he slowed down and backed away from the steaming Mustang.

Elicia giggled and clapped her hands at her father's antics. "Okay! What are playing?"

"Well it's called 'Keep Uncle Roy from hurting daddy.' You get to be the most important part of this game. You get to be a shield!" Hughes explained.

Mustang moved forward and Hughes moved back. Mustang took a step back and Hughes took a step forward. It was almost a dance the way Hughes was keeping his distance from his enraged friend.

"Hughes put your daughter down and fight like a man!"

"I would but I like living. You wouldn't hurt a father in front of his child would you?" Hughes questioned.

Mustang cursed under his breath and pulled at his hair in frustration.

"If you keep doing that your going to go bald and I personally don't think you can pull off being bal-Wait! No! I need her!"

Mustang looked up curiously upon hearing Hughes desperate pleas. Hughes was hopping around his wife as he tried to regain the little girl that had been snatched out of his arms. "You don't understand I need her!"

"Don't worry you'll get to see her when you get home. Right now it's mommy and daughter time. Come on Elicia say bye to daddy." Gracia said as she started to leave.

"Bye-bye daddy!" Elicia waved over her mother's shoulder.

As his wife and daughter walked away they took Hughes' only hope of being saved. So he attempted to talk his way out of the situation. "Roy put your hand down. I know as much about you as Hawkeye and I know that somewhere deep in your heart you know that attacking me won't solve anything. So let's just put the anger, hate, and your gloves away. Can't we just all get along?"

"You know your right."

"I am?" His hope of making it back alive was starting to rise.

"Yah, hurting you won't solve anything but it'll make me feel better."

Hope was gone. "That's not what I meant! I don't like that look. What are you- No! Roy put that glove away!" Hughes was on the run again.

As Hughes ran through the park Mustang was right on his heels. "Hughes I order you to stop running and take what you've got coming! Do you hear me Hughes! Get back here and go down with your dignity intact!"

"Who needs dignity? I'll trade in my dignity for another day on earth!"


	7. Man's Best Friend

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.**

Mustang came back to the office-soaking wet. You could hear the squishing of his shoes from down the hall and he left a trail of water wherever he walked. He also had a black eye and a few scratches, though no one dared ask what had happened.

"Colonel Sir, if you don't mind me asking what happened to you?"

Well almost no one.

"Nothing Hawkeye. I'll be in my office if you need me." Mustang mumbled as he walked past her. Saying curses and something about Hughes under his breathe. Storming into his office he slammed his door shut.

"Hey Riza! You see Roy walk by lately?" Hearing the sound of Hughes' voices and water soaked shoes Hawkeye turned her attention to him. She raised an eyebrow at his appearance. He too was soaking wet but his face didn't have the abrasions. Though he did have something else.

"Is that a swan sir?"

Hughes continued petting the large bird in his arms. Smiling widely he cuddled with it before answering the Lieutenant. "Yep! I named him Gulliver. Gulliver the swan! Man's best friend!"

"Excuse my rudeness but isn't dogs man's best friend?"

"Nope! Swan's are! This underestimated creature saved my life!" Hughes exclaimed as he continued to lavish attention upon the bird in his arms. "Who's a good swan? Who's a good swan? You are! Oh yes you are!"

Riza was just about to leave Hughes and his savior alone when a thought occurred to her. "Hughes does the swan-"

"Gulliver." Hughes corrected

"Sorry. My mistake. Does Gulliver have anything to do with why the Colonel is in such a bad mood? And why are you two soaking wet? Last time I saw you guys you were perfectly dry and the Colonel looked like he had a bounty on your head."

"Why yes! Yes he does…Sort of!" Hughes cleared his throat as he started his story. "I was being chased by a crazed Roy Mustang and I was starting to get tired. Then this steep hill appeared out of nowhere! Not anticipating the drop off I didn't slow down causing me to trip and tumble downhill."

A drenched military officer holding a swan and talking in a loud story telling voice was bound to catch some attention sooner or later. In this case it was sooner rather than later. Already Hughes had attracted Havoc, Armstrong, and a few other random soldiers who happened to be around.

"But did this stop Roy? Of coarse not! He charged down that hill right after me! Of coarse neither of us knew that there was a pond at the bottom until we where both breathing water instead of air. When we came up for air I knew I was a goner!"

By now most of the office had gathered around Hughes as he told the glorious epic of his rescue.

"Then it was like god himself heard my prayers and sent me my own guardian angel. For out of nowhere this magnificent bird came to my rescue!" Hughes stood up and lifted the swan above his head like it was a great god. "This swan whom I've dubbed Gulliver came brandishing his majestic wings. With out a moment of hesitation risked his safety for me!"

Gently he brought the swan back down. Holding it in his arms like it was the most important thing out there. Everyone in the audience thought it was sweet if not just a little creepy.

"He so gallantly protected me from my attacker! Thus saving me from certain doom! So let us all praise and give our thanks to Gulliver! Three cheers for Gulliver! Hip! Hip!"

"HUGHES!"

"Why hello Roy! Well would you look at that! It's already that late! I really must be going I'll see you all soon."

"HUGHES GET BACK HERE!"

"Run Gulliver! Run!"


	8. Gunshots in the Morning

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. **

"Riza! Hey Hawkeye!"

Riza Hawkeye stopped her trek to her office at the sound of someone yelling out her name. Turning around she wasn't surprised to see that it was Hughes. He seemed to be coming over a lot the past month or so. "Good morning Hughes. You just missed the colonel. If you want I can go get him for you."

"No need!" By now he had caught up with her. Slinging his arm around her shoulder he walked with her. "For once I'm not here to see Roy. Today you are the center of my visit."

"Really?" Hawkeye raised her eyebrow suspiciously. "What could you possibly want to talk with me about?"

"I'm hurt!" Hughes threw his hand over his heart dramatically. "You make it sound like I don't care about you! Can't I just see how a good friend is doing every once in a while? Must I always have an excuse?"

"Yes."

"Okay you caught me. I need your help. See I'm trying to Roy wrong about something but he can't seem to trust his best friend on the matter." Mistaking the look on Hawkeye's face for one of confusion about how Roy could be disbelieving he sighed. "I know. How could he think that I would lie to him?"

"I believe you said you needed my help."

"What? Oh that! Yeah I do. See it's high time that Roy found a wife. I can't trust him to make such an important decision by himself so I prepared a list of qualities that a woman would need to put up with him. After looking over the list the perfect person came into my mind. Can you guess who?" Hughes asked.

"I fail to see how I can be of serv-"

"It's you!"

"…I'm sorry I think I misheard you."

"You're the one! The one you can put up with Roy! The one he needs! That's why I need you to-"

"No."

"I haven't even told you-"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"Now Hawke-"

"No."

"Pleassse?"

"No!"

"Lieutenant! Wait a minute you're a lieutenant aren't you?"

Hawkeye looked at Hughes suspiciously. "Yes I am."

"You're a lieutenant …" Hughes contemplated this for a moment before reaching a conclusion. "As your commanding officer I order you to at least hear me out and consider the idea."

Hughes knew better than to force her to do anything more than listen. He could already see her trigger finger itching to fire a round at him. Finally she let out a sigh and took a seat.

"See that wasn't so hard!" Hughes in return received a death glare. "Okay before you kill me just listen! See I want you to…."

Roy had just finished running an errand and was almost back to his office when he heard gunshots and a high-pitched scream. Running down the hall was Maes Hughes with Hawkeye a few feet behind as she took careful aim. Hughes made no effort to slow down as he approached Mustang.

CRASH

Hughes ran straight into Mustang with such force that it sent both of them flying into the ground. They skidded a few feet before stopping. As soon as he was able to untangle himself Hughes bid his friend a quick hello then continued his escape.

Hawkeye ran over and helped Roy up. Giving him a quick solute she quickly gave chase to Maes who was already rounding the corner.

Roy got up and shook his head. "If Hughes has upset Hawkeye that can't mean anything good for me."


	9. Full Potential

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. **

Hughes desperately tried pulling his foot out of the pothole with no luck. His foot didn't seem to enjoy life as much as the rest of his body did. He looked around franticly for something that might help him but all he found was Hawkeye making her way over and boy was she angry. If possible hunting him down had only fueled her frustrations.

Maes seriously considered gnawing off his foot. It's not like he needed it anyway.

"You really wouldn't shoot an old friend would you?" Seeing that being friends had no bearings here Hughes resorted to his back up plan. Begging.

"Please don't kill me! I have a wife and kid! Do you know how heart broken poor Elicia and Gracia would be?" Hughes pulled out his wallet filled to the brim with pictures of his beloved family. "I'm a family man! You can't leave my daughter without a father! Who would keep all those filthy boys away from her? Besides I was only trying to help a friend. Is that so wrong?"

Hawkeye gave him one last menacing before letting out a big sigh. Carefully she put the safety back on her gun as she placed it in the rightful place by her side. Bending down she helped Hughes out of the pothole and standing upright on his feet.

As they made their way back to the office Hughes decided that Hawkeye had cooled down enough. Taking a chance he cleared his throat and brought up the subject that had almost had him killed only minuets before. "So about Roy…"

"What about the Colonel?"

"You know I kept telling him you where perfect for him but he won't admit it. Poor guy's in denial. Anyway I was trying to get it through his thick skull-"

"We're not perfect for each other. It would never work."

Hughes' hand flew up to cover his eyes as he let out a loud groan. "Not you to! I thought you would understand the deep-rooted spiritual connection between you and Roy! Am I the only one who understands? You two are destined to be together! I thought you would understand!"

"Have you been looking into spiritual enlightenment again?" Hawkeye asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Your both in denial!" He simply ignored her question. "Which just adds to the reasons why you should follow my plan!"

"If I say no you'll just keep bugging me until I agree right?"

"Yep." Hughes stated proudly.

Not doubting her friend's words Hawkeye weighed her options. Say yes and go through with Maes' crazy plan. Say no and not be left alone until she said yes. Don't say anything and kill him off while she still had the chance but deal with grieving family and friends. Not to mention a murder charge. That was defiantly not a road she wanted to take.

"Are you sure you can get the Colonel to agree to this?"

Hughes nodded his head vigorously as he broke out in a big grin. "As sure as Al taking in a stray cat and Ed never drinking his milk. Just trust me on this my plan is full proof! One chance that's all I ask."

Deciding to take the lesser of the evils she hesitantly agreed to Hughes' plan. She let out a deep sigh before talking. "Fine. What do you need me to do?"

"Well first off…"

* * *

"Roy!" Upon hearing his name echoing off the walls Mustang lifted his head up from the seeming less never ending tower of paper work. He was not at all surprised to be looking up into the eyes of his best friend. No he was just startled. At least that's what he told himself when he found himself buried underneath an avalanche of military issued documents.

"For a military man you sure startle easily."

That's what Mustang heard while he was still buried in his work. Strange the angels that were sent to guide him to the afterlife sounded very familiar…

"Hello? You okay?"

Very familiar…

"Hey speak up already!"

Hughes?

"Well since you don't seem to be getting up anytime soon I'll just tell you about my darling Elicia. Did you know she just stared school? She's so smart! I bet she'll grow up to be a scientist or a doctor or…"

No mistaking it now. Only Hughes could talk about Elicia like that.

"...maybe a teacher! Helping small children realizing their full potential!"


	10. World of the Living

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. **

It had taken a while but Mustang had finally managed to find his way out of his paper work. And who better to greet him back to the world of the living but his best friend Maes Hughes?

"You really had me worried for a moment there." Hughes said from his knelt down position in front of Roy. "I was hoping I hadn't killed you with your paperwork before I had a chance to speak with you."

"I've already told you I'm not getting married. I'm not going out with Riza and your not getting any wedding invitations. Do want to know why? Because I'm not getting married! Ever!" In one breath Roy had covered all the basic things Hughes would come down to his office for as of lately.

So he was extremely surprised when Hughes started laughing and patting him on his shoulder. "I didn't come down here to tell you to date Riza, which you should, or tell you to get married, which you will once you start dating Riza. I actually have a favor to ask of you."

"What kind of favor?" Mustang eyed his friend suspiciously. Not fully trusting Maes Hughes with anything since he told him Riza was his perfect match.

"You make it sound like your making a deal with the devil or something." Maes commented off handily at Roy's negative response. "First off I need to know if you're free all day Saturday."

"Maybe. All depends on what you want me to do."

"No trust I tell you. When did we drift so far apart my dear friend? What have I ever done to gain such suspicion?" Hughes asked. "Is this how you treat a life long friend when they come asking for a teeny tiny microscopic favor? When was the last time I asked anything from you?"

"You wanted to ask me for a favor?"

"Huh?" It took Hughes a minute to remember why he was there in the first place. When he finally regained his train of thought he snapped his fingers together. "Oh right! I need you to pick up an old friend of mine. She'll be arriving here by train at ten on Saturday morning. I told her I'd pick her up but forgot I was busy. So do you think you can pick her up and show her around for me? Keep her happy and show her some of the sights in case she wants to come back to town later."

"Why can't you pick this friend up? Or get Gracia to do it. I'm sure she would be happy to help you out." Mustang suggested.

At this Hughes got starry eyed and you could almost see a beam of light shine through the ceiling and onto him. If you squinted and looked at him in the right light you could swear that there were little floating hearts drifting around his very being. "You mean I haven't told you yet! It's wonderful! Elicia got the leading roll in her school play!"

Mustang groaned as he attempted to rebury himself in his avalanche of important military issued documents that required his signature. Why couldn't keep his big mouth shut? He just had to be so damn curious! He knew what curiosity did to the cat but he had to ask anyway! He should have known it had something to do with his little three-year-old daughter.

"… Gracia is making the costumes and I'm volunteered to help with the background scenery. Also I have to take pictures of them getting ready and rehearsing for the scrapbook they're making of the production process of the play. So I need you to pick up Ava for me at the train station." Hughes finished explaining.

"Who's Ava?"

"The friend of mine that you're going to pick up at the train station at ten on Saturday morning." Hughes grinned.

"When did I agree to any of that?"

"A little while ago."

"Oh. Okay…"

Looking at the clock that was hanging on the wall Hughes mentally ticked off the seconds as he mouthed off the numbers. "Ten… nine… eight… seven… six… five… four… three… two… one…"

"Wait a second! I never agreed to anything of the sort!"


	11. All About Ava

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.**

**A/N: I have some very smart readers out there. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about it concerns Ava and you'll know by the end of this chapter.**

* * *

It was raining and slightly windy on this particular Saturday morning and standing on the platform dutifully was Roy Mustang. Checking his watch for the sixth time in the last ten minutes he pulled his big overcoat closer to his body. It really was getting cold. Blowing air into his mitten clad hands he couldn't help but think, 'What the hell am I doing out here?' 

Then the sight of an overly happy Hughes with a picture of his wife and daughter popped into his mind. With a shudder Mustang shook the mental image out of his head. Looking up he saw the headlights from a train appear. Straightening himself up he grabbed his umbrella. Then he picked up a small sign that said Ava in red letters and waited for this mysterious friend to arrive.

Finally the train arrived. People piled out until it was only a trickle then a woman stepped out that immediately caught Roy's attention.

She was about 5' 4" with jade green eyes. She had golden blond hair that was pulled back in a messy ponytail and black rubber boots on her feet. She wore a dark bluedenim skirt that went to her knees and a red long sleeved shirt. Around her neck was a thin silver chain and a rose pendent hung from it. Over all of this she wore a thick black coat.

After adjusting her coat to accommodate the cold outdoor temperature the mystery woman lifted her head and looked up, her gaze landing on the slack jawed dog of the military. Breathing a sigh of relief she picked up her duffel bag and slung it over her shoulder.

Mustang broke out of his stupor at the woman's sudden movement of throwing a duffel bag onto her back. He watched as she made a beeline to where he was standing. Regaining his gentlemen charm he made his way towards her with an umbrella in his hand. Once they where standing in front of each other the woman stuck out her hand. "You must be Hughes' friend. I've heard so much about you."

"Roy Mustang at your service and you must be Ava. Am I right?" Roy asked as he shook her outstretched hand.

"That's me. We really should get going. It looks like the rain is coming down harder." Ava being the more sensible of the two suggested.

"Oh…right! The rain is coming down pretty hard. Come on I didn't park too far from here." Opening up his umbrella he stepped out in the rain. Looking back he motioned Ava to follow him.

Being careful so she wouldn't get to wet she followed him to his car. Putting her duffel bag in the backseat Ava made herself comfortable in the passenger seat. A few minutes later Roy was seated in the driver's seat and was starting up the car.

"If you don't mind I'll show you the town some other time. The rain would make it kind of hard to really appreciate anything." Roy finally broke the slightly awkward silence that had filled the car.

"That's probably for the best."

Once again they slipped into silence. That was until Ava saw a big building with the lights on. According to the big letters on the front of the building it was Airtimes Elementary School. Tapping on the window Ava gestured to the school, "Let's go in there. Maes said he couldn't pick me up because Elicia is in a school play. I want to see what's going on."

Not seeing anything wrong with the suggestion Mustang pulled into the school parking lot and quickly found a spot to park. Though the rain had gone down to only a drizzle he brought the umbrella with him and soon enough they found the entrance into the auditorium.

"Hughes! Hey Hughes!"

Maes Hughes sat up right from his kneeled down position. Before he had heard his name being called he had been painting the backdrop for one of the scenes. Now he could see that it was his best friend Mustang calling his name. Seeing his arm wrapped around Ava's shoulder (who looked slightly nervous at the close proximity) brought a smile to his face. In his head he thought, 'Aha! I was right! Hawkeye looks like a completely different person.'

Now what came out of his mouth was completely different. "Ava long time no see! How many years has it been? I hope my good friend Roy here has been treating you well. Like a gentlemen right Roy?"

Mustang just laughed off his friend's underlying accusations. Another blond hair girl soon caught his attention.

"Uncle Roy!"

Mustang removed his arm from Ava's shoulders to scoop up the little girl that was running towards him. Lifting her off the ground he spun her around a few times before placing her safely back onto the floor. Once Elicia had stopped the room from spinning she noticed the woman standing next to her uncle Roy. Pulling on her father's pant leg she waited until he was eye level with her before whispering in his ear, "Why does Aunty Riza have green eyes? And why is she here with Uncle Roy? What's going on Daddy?"


	12. The Art of Blackmail

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. **

Excusing himself and Elicia Hughes pulled his daughter out of earshot. Once again bending down he asked, "Now what makes you think that the nice woman is your Aunty Riza?"

"Daddy, I maybe five but it's pretty obvious." It was official. A five-year-old girl is more perspective than a full-grown man who is protecting the public. A rather scary scenario if you thought about it. "So what's going on?"

Hughes racked his brain trying to figure out how to explain the situation. Finally coming up with an easy way to explain he said, "It's a game. Aunty Riza is pretending to be someone else for a while to see what it's like. She'll be staying with us and she's going to keep playing for a couple of weeks."

"Oh…" Elicia nodded in understanding.

"Now the thing is that Uncle Roy can't know about this. So while he's around you have call her Ava not Aunty Riza. Is that clear?" Hughes asked.

"Okay daddy." Hughes let out a sigh of relief only to be caught completely off guard by her next statement. "I won't tell Uncle Roy if you do something for me."

"What?" Hughes couldn't believe it. His sweet innocent little Elicia was practically blackmailing him. Scratch that his darling daughter was blackmailing him.

Sensing the hesitation coming from her father Elicia glanced over her shoulder to where Uncle Roy and Aunty Riza were standing. Taking a deep breath she called out, "Hey Unc--!"

Mustang heard his name being called. He looked over to where the two were standing only to see Hughes covering Elicia's mouth with one hand and grinning suspiciously. Hughes free hand was waving at him as if to say 'Everything's fine. Go back to what ever you were doing.' Mustang decided it best that he not know what was going on with the Hughes's family.

Maes only relaxed when his friend turned back to his previous conversation with Hawkeye. Since her father still had his hand over her mouth and she wanted to say something Elicia did the full proof method of removing his hand.

Hughes yanked back his hand as his daughter stuck out her tongue and licked her father's hand. Slightly disgusted he wiped his hand on his pant leg and looked Elicia in the eyes.

"What do you want?" He caved.

She clapped her hands together in glee as she announced what she wanted. "I want Winry to come for a visit! She can stay in my room and we can play together!"

Hughes hastily agreed. Getting Winry to come down for a visit would be easy enough. Good thing she didn't ask for a pony or he would have to find her a different Christmas present.

"Hughes get back over there and help me out."

Maes nearly jumped out of his skin at Hawkeye's sudden intrusion on his personal space. Clutching at his racing heart he blinked owlishly at the woman towering above him. She crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her foot in frustration. " I can't believe I ever agreed to this. Where's my gun when I need it the most?"

Hughes silently thanked every god he knew for her lack of weaponry. "What's the matter? Aren't you enjoying yourself?"

"Just come over and help me. I have no idea what I'm doing." Hawkeye seethed.

"Perfect." Maes couldn't help but laugh at her expression. Patting her reassuringly on the back he stood to his full height. "Just keep acting like your self. No orders or sirs though. Think of it like vacation. Which it kind of is."

She simply gave an unlady like grunt as she fought the urge to drive her elbow into his stomach. "Now come Ava and Elicia we wouldn't want Roy getting suspicious now would we?"

Riza cursed under her breath at her new name and Elicia jumped around as they made their way back over to where Mustang was talking to Gracia. Once they were all reunited Ava and Roy decided to stick around and help. Roy helped to build the props as Ava assisted Gracia with the costumes.

So they stayed in the auditorium for mot of the day helping set up Elicia's play. They ate their lunch and dinner as they worked. By the time they left it was getting dark. Gracia, Elicia, and Hughes drove home in their car. During the drive Hughes filled in his wife on some of the details. Following close behind them was Ava and completely unsuspecting Roy.


	13. Pretty Lady

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. **

**A/N: Riza Hawkeye is Ava in disguise. They are one and the same. I will use both names interchangeably. **

* * *

Riza woke up early the next morning. Her internal alarm clock didn't allow her to sleep in past seven on a good day. So the only company Riza had at six in the morning was none other than Maes Hughes. His years in the military had permanently ingrained the early rising alarm in his mind.

Together the two friends made a breakfast fit for a king. Pancakes, scrambled eggs, toast, and bacon where spread about the table in a plentiful bounty. They were getting the final touches together when Gracia and Elicia took their seats at the table, dressed in their pajamas. On the other hand Hughes and Riza were dressed and ready for the day.

They exchanged good mornings and dug in to quite possibly the most delicious breakfast Riza had ever had. She was just finishing her pancakes and was just about to grab another piece of toast when the sound of someone knocking reached her ears. Since she was closest Hawkeye answered the door.

When she opened the door to the face of her commanding officer the only complete thought that reached her mind was, 'Good thing I put in those colored contacts this morning.'

It was indeed a good thing that Riza Hawkeye had always believed strongly in the phrase 'Better safe than sorry.' Growing up in a military family had taught her at a young age to be prepared at all times. So it was with this in mind that Riza had gotten dressed in and had put the green contacts in when she had awoken earlier.

Putting on what she hoped to be a convincing smile, she opened the door so he could come in. "Why, hello Roy. I wasn't really expecting you until later but you're more than welcome to join us for breakfast. There's more than enough food to go around."

Roy Mustang scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. Nodding his thanks he entered into the Hughes house. After making sure his coat was properly hung up he joined everyone at the breakfast table.

It was another couple of hours before Roy and Riza left together. After they had been driving for a while Mustang turned his attention to the female in the passenger seat. "So what do you want to see first, Ava? The museum? Park? Downtown?"

Hawkeye thought about this for a moment. He still had no idea who she really was… what was the one place she always wanted to go to but couldn't because of his procrastinator attitude towards doing paperwork?

"The bookstore." She answered a moment later. She hadn't been able to go there since she had started working for him. It was a time consuming job keeping Roy Mustang in line.

"The bookstore it is!" Mustang flashed her a grin before making the proper turn. A few minuets later they were parked and entering a small corner shop that was filled with books for any reader.

Riza immediately started browsing through the aisle of books. It had been such a long time since she had been book shopping and who knew when her next chance would come around.

While Ava looked at books Roy took to looking at her. Her blond hair was weaved into a tight braid that went down the middle of her back. Today she wore a black fitted tank top and a pair of simple light blue jeans. The concentration on the book she was holding distracted her from his stare. In a similar sense he didn't notice the young man approaching because his focus on her was so high.

"Hey there, pretty lady. Can I help you with something?"


	14. Romeo, Oh Romeo

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.**

Riza Hawkeye looked up from her book to a face of a man she didn't know. He looked about her age, tall with rusty colored hair. His eyes were a mix of many colors, the most prominent being blue and gray.

"If you could tell me where I could find other books like this one I would be grateful." Riza handed him the book she was holding.

"Oedipus Rex." The strange man read out loud. "Good choice if I do say so myself. Well when you're done with this one you'll have to read Antigone. Also I must recommend the Struggles of Sisyphus and the Trojan War. The war that started with a golden apple."

"I was thinking of reading the Apple of Discard that lead to the Trojan War but I wasn't sure if it was any good. What did you think of it?" Riza asked.

"Personally I loved it but you should probably read The Calydonean Boar Hunt first. If you want more of a romantic tragedy I'd look for Shakespeare. Romeo and Juliet is a good one." He added.

"Read it but didn't really care for it." It had been a long time since she had talked about books with anyone and she found herself enjoying the conversation.

He raised an eyebrow before he said with an English accent. "If I profane with my unworthiness hand this holy shrine, the gentle fine is this: My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss."

"Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this; For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss." Riza retorted with a smirk.

The man was pleasantly surprised by her response and continued. "Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?"

"Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer." She recited back.

Taking it as a challenge he kept up the act. "O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do; They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair."

"Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake." Riza was rather surprised at her own memory she hadn't read the play for who knows how long, and now she's reenacting in the middle of a book store.

"Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take. Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged."

"Then have my lips the sin that they have took."

"Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again."

"You kiss by the book." Riza finished.

There was a moment of silence before her fellow reciter but out in a deep laughter, clapping his hands together for emphasis. After a moment he stopped laughing but there was still a big grin plaster to his face.

He stuck out his hand, introducing himself as they shook. "My name is Mathew. Is it too much to hope that you'll give me yours?"

Riza had to bit her tongue from saying her real name in front of Roy. "I'm Ava."

"Well, Ava, it's a pleasure to meet you. I must say that you're probably the most interesting person I've met in this town so far." Mathew commented. "A real diamond in the rough."

"Are you new in to this area?" Riza asked.

"Opened up a few months ago so still fairly new." He shrugged. "Still haven't gotten used to the town. I've been so busy setting this place up that I haven't had a chance to do much exploring."

Riza merely nodded in understanding.

"Maybe you could show me the sights sometime? I'm sure you know all the great places to be." Mathew suggested.

Before she had a chance to answer a Roy's voice cut in from behind her. "Actually she's here for a visit. I'm taking her on a tour and we still have places to see so if you could…"

He gestured towards the book Mathew was holding.

"Where are my manners? I'll get the others and meet you by the counter. You'll be out of here and strolling the city streets in no time." He excused himself as he disappeared around a wall of books.

Roy had been silently seething as the red headed storeowner conversed with Ava. She had just met the guy and had talked more to him in ten minuets than they had in the past two days. Needless to say he was feeling quite proud of himself as Mathew left to find the books.

At least until he looked down and saw the look Ava was giving him.


	15. Universal Glares

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. **

**A/N: Remember Riza and Ava are one and the same. The names are used interchangeably with one and other.**

Riza's right hand twitched instinctively for her gun but upon remembering the role she was playing decided to settle for a glare that sent a noticeable chill down Roy's spine. Under her demanding stare he stood rigidly, as if afraid to move.

'Good he should be,' was Riza's current train of thought. Even in her normal somewhat chaotic life she had very few friends who she could hold such a laid back conversation with. So finding someone who she could converse with had been a pleasant surprise. Only to be ruined by a certain co-worker…

Roy Mustang avoided eye contact as much as possible, fidgeting under her accusing watch. The daggers he was receiving vaguely reminded him of the look Hawkeye gave him when he was being particularly stupid or the scowl Winry had when Ed was being stubborn.

As he stood in that uncomfortable silence he came to the conclusion that all women learned that stare along with how to turn a man to into a bubbling fool. They must all take a course when they started puberty or something.

"Sorry I took so long but I had to open a new box in order to…" Mathew trailed off as he noticed the high-tension level. He shifted his gaze back and forth between the two before speaking. "Did I interrupt something?"

"No." Riza was the first one to answer. She took the books he was holding and began digging through her pockets. "How much?"

Mathew smiled and shook his head. "These ones are on me. Enjoy."

"I can't do that. I insist on paying full price." Riza protested. She was never one to take free hand outs.

"And I insist that they're on the house. Think of it as a thank you gift. From me to you." Mathew said.

"What could you possibly be thanking me for? I just met you today?" Riza was one of those people that were rarely ever confused. So this was a picture taking moment. Where was Hughes when you needed him?

"For single handedly adding a dash of culture in my life. I've tried talking books with others but no one talked back like you did. It was fun." Sensing that she wasn't going to back down no matter what he said he attempted a compromise. "Tell you what, take these now and the next time you buy books from me I'll charge you double."

"Why can't I just pay you now?"

Mathew shrugged his shoulders. "I have to make sure you visit me again somehow. This seemed like as good way as any."

Through the entire conversation Roy had to fight the nagging temptation to snap his fingers together. The only thing keeping his alchemy in check was his subconscious, who was constantly pointing out the Ava wouldn't appreciate it if he sent a friendly spark in Mathew's direction.

So he resisted the impulse and moved on to the next best thing.

"I'll pay." Roy dug into his pockets and pulled out the amount needed. "That should cover it. Well we've wasted enough of your time so we'll just be going."

"You've done no such thing." Mathew protested as he put the money away. "Please come back anytime. I'm here pretty much all the time so make sure you come back, Ava. I'm looking forward to round two of our discussion."

"I'll be sure to stop by next time I'm in town." Riza reassured him as she silently made a note to come back once this whole fiasco was over. She rather liked the place.

Roy draped an arm around her shoulder and gently guided her towards the door. "We both will this is quite a shop you've got here but until then we must be going. It was nice meeting you."

"The pleasure was all mine. I'll see you two around." Mathew waved after them as Riza called out a good bye.

No sooner had the bookshop closed behind them than Roy was introduced to Ava's elbow, which had suddenly appeared in his gut. The sudden unexpected movement successfully knocked the wind out of him.

Riza Hawkeye did not like being controlled. It was beyond aggravating when she was politely hustled out of the shop. She barley had a chance to say good-bye. If the current circumstances of the situation were different she would have… well it doesn't really matter what she would have done because the situation had occurred.

She couldn't threaten him in her normal fashion or her cover would have been blown. Though she did consider the idea it was ruined by a little version of Hughes dressed in white robes with a halo above his head making her promise to go along with his crazy plan.

Riza shook her head. When this was all over with he owed her. Exactly what he owed her she hadn't decided on but what ever it was it was going to be big. Maybe some books she had eye on or a studio. Yeah a studio sounded real good. She hadn't expressed her artistic side in a long time. Maybe this scheme was just what she needed. Hughes did say to treat it like a vacation...


	16. Dominos

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. **

**A/N: I'm glad you all think I'm keeping Riza in character, for the most part anyway. It means a lot. Hope you enjoy this chapter. **

Roy was starting to get nervous. They had been driving for a good fifteen minuets and Ava hadn't spoken one word to him. Maybe he had gone a bit far. She was new in town and didn't have many friends. He was kind of a jerk. Making up his mind he opened his mouth to apologize when…

"Make a left here."

He snapped his mouth shut. Not expecting her to say anything it took him a moment to register what she had said. "Wha-?"

"Quickly, now!"

Caught off guard Roy turned the wheel a little too quickly and had to hit his brakes to slow them down. Leaving skid marks in his wake. He looked over to Ava, expecting her to hit him or at the least to be afraid.

What he wasn't expecting was her completely calm appearance. In fact the only indication that she had noticed the sharp turn was the fact that she was holding onto the handle above the door.

Her free hand pointed to a street.

"Now turn right."

This time Roy was prepared and smoothly made his turn. About five to ten minuets later he heard Ava tell him to stop. Pulling over to the side of the road he turned to his passenger for an explanation, only to find her already out the door and walking into another shop.

It took a few fumbling tries to get his seatbelt off and once it was off he wasted no time in slamming his door shut and running after her. "Ava! Wait!"

Either she hadn't heard him or she had chosen to ignore him. After his little stunt at the bookstore he was more incline to believe that she was ignoring him. Since he was running and she was walking he arrived at the door just as she had entered it. Once inside he leaned forward so his hands where resting on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. She sure walked fast.

Straightening himself out he followed behind her and took in his surroundings. There were aisles of art supplies. As he walked he looked over the shelves; pencils, papers, sketchbooks, erasers, charcoal, pastels, colored pencils. The list went on and on. In fact he was so absorbed in his surroundings that he didn't notice what was right in front of him.

Thus he promptly walked right into Ava, who had stopped to look at something on one of the shelves.

This caused a small series of chain reactions. Fist and foremost being that Ava lost her balance and was knocked into the shelf where all the paints she was looking at where. The impact of the shelf caused the items to rattle and a can of paint to flop of its side. That paint can then rolled along the shelf successfully knock over other paints. This time they tipped over the shelf and onto the floor where they beautifully exploded over the two shoppers and other merchandise.

Of coarse the noise that the falling and splattering paint cans attracted almost everyone in the store. So they where not only splattered with paint but they had witnesses. Riza looked around and sighed. A lot of witnesses.

Then just when she thought everything that could possibly go wrong had already happened she saw a flash of light and heard the whir of a camera. Great somebody was taking a picture.

While Roy was babbling apologies at a mile a minuet Riza bent down and started cleaning up. As she stood the cans upright Roy stopped his apology in favor of helping her out. It didn't take long for the staff members to hustle on over with their mops.

It wasn't long before the aisle was clean once again. Now the only thing they had to deal with was the angry storeowner who was insisting that they pay for the lost merchandise. Riza let Roy handle that one as she went back to the paint aisle. After a few minuets of looking she found what she wanted. Picking the selected cans she carried them over to the cash register where she paid for them.

With her purchases in hand she headed back over to where she had left Roy, who was now resentfully writing out a check for the damages done.


	17. My Favorite Pair

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. **

**A/N: Ava is Riza. **

**As many of you pointed out the last chapter was in fact the shortest one yet and I haven't updated in a long time to here's another chapter! **

As Roy drove Ava back to Hughes' house he swore that he could hear, actually _hear_, the gods of the universe laughing at him. 'Was it possible that his luck with the ladies had run out? Maybe he had switched love lives with Havoc? Damn that Havoc. Stealing his charm and woman. How dare he undermine his superior!'

_**-In the Office back in Central-**_

"Achoo!" Havoc sneezed loudly. "Achoo!"

Falman offered his handkerchief, which was gladly accepted by the sneezing man. "You don't sound well. Are you feeling alright?"

Havoc nodded. "Just fine but I keep sneezing. Do you think I'm allergic to something?"

"Maybe someone's talking about you behind your back." Master Sergeant Fuery offered as he placed another stack of paperwork on the colonel's desk. Ever since he had decided to take a random week of leave his piles had grown rapidly.

Brenda laughed as he put a much smaller pile of paper work on Hawkeye's who had also taken an uncharacteristic leave of absence. "Maybe you have a secret admirer out there that you aren't aware of."

"Well I did run into this beautiful girl this morning on my way to work…" Havoc grinned as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

**_-Back to Roy & Riza-_**

Since Roy was so busy cursing his second lieutenant he didn't notice Ava open his glove compartment and start digging around. It did take her long to find a piece of scrape paper and a pen. Grabbing his conveniently placed wallet she placed the paper over it and started sketching.

By now Roy had moved from cursing Havoc to cursing the owner of the art supply store. 'It was an accident for crying out loud! Like he would willingly make an ass out of himself in front of a beautiful lady. Speaking of the beautiful lady how did she know where to go? Wasn't she new in town?'

"Hey, Ava." Roy waited until she looked up from whatever she was doing before continuing. "How'd you know where that art store was? You gave the directions perfectly."

For her part Riza did an excellent cover-up and without missing a beat she responded with, "We drove by it on the way to the book store and I made a point of remembering where it was." Seeing his doubtful expression she tapped her pen to her head. "I have an excellent memory." Well she wasn't lying about that. She did have a great memory about things.

She breathed out a sigh of relief when he accepted the answer and went back to driving. Once she was sure he wasn't going to ask her anything else she went back to what she was drawing.

Not much later they arrived at Hughes. Sticking the wallet and the sketch into her back pocket Riza grabbed the paint and placed them on the porch as she carefully made her way indoors, she didn't want to drip paint on anything. Though she didn't really have to, the paint had pretty much dried and wasn't going to budge for anything.

With such a fast pace she nearly ran right into Gracia, who was carrying a clean basket of clothes inside to fold. "Sorry, Gracia. Do want some help with that?"

"I'll be fine. You're supposed to be out with Roy what hap- oh my." Gracia covered her mouth and tried to suppress her laughter. "Those are ruined… what on earth?"

"You don't want to know." Riza answered with a roll of her eyes. Then she took a look down at her blue jeans. "Do you really think that they're beyond repair?"

She just nodded. "On the bright side your top doesn't have a speck of paint!"

It was true, Riza's black top and the rest of her showed no signs of paint her jeans and shoes… well those were another story. Her shoes were defiantly the worse but they where tennis shoes and were meant to get dirty. It was too bad for Roy that he had ruined her favorite pair of jeans.

"That reminds me. Would you mind if I painted a little mural on one of the walls in Elicia's room?" Riza asked as she dug out the sketch she had made earlier. She unfolded and smoothed it out a bit before showing it to her friend. "I have the paint I just need your permission."

Gracia's eyes widened when she saw the simple drawing the Riza had made. Maes had never told her that she was so artistic. "This is beautiful! Where did you learn to draw like this?"

Riza shrugged her shoulders. "It's not that great. I just worked out an outline on the way over here."

"Don't be so modest, it looks wonderful!" Gracia praised as she handed her the paper. "Oh coarse you can paint it! And maybe when your down with Elicia you can do something with the guest room your staying in. I've always wanted to spruce it up but I never got around to it."

"Thank you." Riza said as she folded the paper back up. "If you want I'll make some sketches tonight and you can look over them tomorrow."


	18. A Quick Recap

**I thought a few of you might be a little lost on what's going on so I've dedicated this chapter to a quick recap. It is not necessary to read and I understand if you don't read it. If you choose to skip it another chapter will be coming out shortly so just wait until then. **

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX **

**BTW: Mathew is not Havoc! I repeat Mathew is not Havoc! He's just a character I made up to inspire a little conflict! **

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX **

**The Story so Far… **

Roy walks into his office one day to find that his best friend, Maes Hughes, has picked out his wife based on what he knows about Roy. And the lucky girl is…. Riza Hawkeye! So in order to prove that Riza is not for his Roy sets out to find the perfect girl. In his journey he comes across a cat lover, a classy cultural, and one who wants to get married right away.

After finding something wrong with each one Hughes tries to tell Hawkeye how much Roy loves her… only to be chased down by the flame alchemist himself. In a daring rescuer one brave swan saves Hughes. Eventually Hughes manages to get Riza alone and tells her of his plan to prove once and for all that she if the perfect woman for Mustang… which resulted in target practice for Riza with Hughes as the moving target. After some begging and a guilt trip she eventually agrees to his crazy scheme.

Hughes later corners Roy and tricks him into picking up an old friend from the train station. When Roy goes to pick them up he is struck with cupid's arrow as he is introduced to Ava, Hughes old friend. She will be staying with Hughes and on the way to his house they stop by Elicia's school, where her parents are helping with a school play. There Elicia discovers a that Ava is actually Riza Hawkeye in disguise.

That's right Riza is posing as Ava to supports Hughes' theory that they belong together.

Anyway Elicia blackmails her father. She'll keep quite if he brings Winry up for a visit. With no alterative he agrees. Later Roy drops Ava off at the Hughes household and heads home.

The next morning Roy shows up bright and early to show 'Ava' the sights and their first stop is the bookstore. There they meet the owner, Mathew. Then Riza and Mathew have an in depth conversation about books and act out a small scene from Romeo and Juliet. Roy rudely buts in and has Mathew find the books. The little green-eyed monster strikes!

When they're on the road again Riza directs Roy to an art store. There he accidentally bumps into her and causes some paint cans to fall off the shelf and explode. They clean up the mess and Roy pays for the damages. While he's doing that she buys a few cans of paint. Then it's off to Hughes'.

Upon their arrival Riza hurries out of the car and into the house, where she almost runs into Gracia. One look at Riza and she had to fight back a laugh. She regretfully informs her that her paint-splattered pants are beyond hope. Riza then remembers that she wanted to do a small mural for Elicia's room so she asks Gracia for permission and shows her a sketch she designed. Gracia happily agrees and tells her that she'd be grateful if she could also work out something for the boring guest room.

Thus the story has ended for now. As I said before another chapter will be uploaded soon so until then!

**Do svidanja! **

**Adios! **

**Bis bald! **

**And thanks for reading!**


	19. The Dress Code of Angels

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.**

**I would also like to thank you all for your support!**

Riza waved good-bye to the Hughes' family as they drove off. Since it would take a few weeks to paint Elicia's room Gracia thought it would be a great opportunity to take a family vacation. So Maes' took a few weeks off from his military duty to take them to visit his parents.

She waved until they disappeared and then she went back inside. They had emptied Elicia's room the day before so all her toys, drawings, bed, dresser, and anything else she owned where scattered about the living room, dining area, and hallway.

After she successfully made it to the guest room that she was staying in, Riza quickly changed into the pair of jeans that Roy had ruined and an old shirt that Maes had gladly given her. Grabbing an old blue baseball cap that she had found she pulled her hair through the hole and secured it to her head.

She then carefully made her way to Elicia's bare room and covered her floor with a tarp they had found sitting in the garage. Then the windows were opened to allow the proper air ventilation. Finally she turned on the radio and started on priming the room.

….

_A Few Hours Later _

….

Roy Mustang had been knocking on the door for at least five minuets before deciding no one was coming to answer it. He could music playing inside so he knew that somebody was home and since the Hughes' family car was missing that left Ava.

_'I'm sure she just can't hear me. She wouldn't be that upset about the paint incident yesterday, right? Right?' _Roy thought to himself as he peered through the window, trying to see past the closed curtains._ 'What I wouldn't give for x-ray vision right about now. At least then I would know whether or not she's even here to apologize to.' _

It was… rare to get an apology from Roy. First off her never does anything worth apologizing for. Second his goofy demeanor normally had you forgetting any animosity towards him. Third, well he was Roy Mustang. In fact, outside his family, there where only two people he had ever said he was sorry to. The first was his best friend, Maes Hughes. The second was Riza Hawkeye. It wasn't a big apology but it was an apology nonetheless.

Turning the doorknob he was pleasantly surprised to find the door unlocked. Opening the door he stepped inside and locked it behind him. Straightening out his jacket collar, he check to make sure the bouquet of roses he brought as a peace offering where okay, took a confident step forward and…

Promptly hit his shin on the corner of Elicia's bed, which caused him to stumble into chair with enough momentum to send both him and the chair tumbling to the ground. Roy must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning because he landed in the toy chest. It was at this moment that he let out a high-pitched yelp.

And that's how Riza found him, with his limbs hanging over the sides of the toy chest and his back pressed uncomfortably into Elicia's numerous cute… girly… poking… painful toys.

When Riza first heard noises coming from inside the house her initial reaction was to reach for her gun but then she remembered whom she was playing and silently cursed to herself. With the absence of her gun she had to settle for a small baseball bat Hughes had bought for Elicia.

You could imagine her surprise when Riza walked into the living room, ready to swing, only to find her boss lying painfully on a chest of toys. To add to the humorous scene the roses he had brought had flown out of his hand somewhere during the coarse of his fall and landed half on half off of the dresser. It teetered for a few minuets before falling over into the conveniently placed trashcan.

Putting down the bat Riza quickly but cautiously made her way to Roy. Once she was in front of him she bent down slightly and asked. "Are you okay?"

Through the pain, Roy could hear a voice calling out to him. It sounded so sweet and yet familiar at the same time.

_Roy… _

There it was again. Could it be his guardian angel sent from the heavens to escort him to the pearly gates?

_Roy… _

This time Roy cracked his eyes opened to see the face of his angel. His day was looking up for there floating above him was the face of his beloved Ava! There was a God and he was kind and just… and had a strange dress code. Since when did angels wear blue baseball caps?


	20. Family Tree

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.**

**Ava is Riza.**

In retrospect it wasn't all that humiliating. Sure he had fallen back first into a chest of pink girly toys and couldn't get back up. Yes his flowers had crumpled helplessly into the trash bin. Of coarse the girl he was hoping to win over had witnessed the whole event but really it wasn't that embarrassing… right?

Oh, who was he trying to kid? Even Fullmetal could have made a more graceful entrance. That was pretty bad considering Ed tended to blast his was through things. Well on the brighter side he had Ava taking care of him. It was almost worth the sharp pain in his tailbone… almost.

"Here's your ice pack. How's your head?"

Roy gratefully accepted the bag of ice and placed it gently on the large bump on top his head. With a sly smile he looked up Ava, who had taken a seat next to him at the dining room table. "Well my head hurts. I think it wouldfeel better if you gave it a kiss."

Riza rolled her contact green eyes. 'Same old Roy. It's nice to see he still has his sense of humor.'

Roy looked in her eyes with his best-wounded puppy look. It never failed to get him what he wanted with the ladies. Then he though, 'Well, almost never. It didn't seem to work on Riza when I try getting out of paper work. In fact none of my women proof tactics worked on her. She really was one of a- wait! Bad thoughts! That kind of thinking will only prove Hughes' point!"

"You seem well enough to crack jokes so you must be okay." Roy was startled out of his thoughts by the sound of Ava's voice. "Did you come here for something because I'm working on something at the moment and I would like to get back to it."

"I just wanted to spend the day with you. I thought I could show you around some more. Maybe take you to the movies or something." He commented casually. "How about it?"

Ava stood up and stretched out her back. "Thanks but I'll have to decline."

Well there really was a first time for everything.

"Wha-?" Roy replied intelligently.

Ava started to roll her shoulders. "I said I decline. I have to finish Elicia's room before they get back from their vacation and I can't afford to waste any time."

Roy stood their stunned. Though it was not because she refused him. Her voice… the way she worded things… they sounded familiar. "Hawkeye?"

Riza managed to restrain from showing her surprise and instead settled for looking confused. "Hawkeye? Who's that?"

Roy shook his head. "Sorry. You just reminded me of someone for a moment." He narrowed his eyes at her. "Actually now that I'm looking you look a lot like her. She has long blond hair like you but she has these amber colored eyes instead of green. You even talk like her. Are you sure you're not related?"

"Never heard of her but who really knows who they're related to? Maybe somewhere in the roots of my family tree we have the same relative but as far as I know we don't." Riza prayed that he would accept that answer and not question any more.

"I suppose your right." Roy scratched the back of his head. "I remember a time when I was still in school I had this great history teacher. He was old back made the class fun. Anyway over the summer I had to attend a family reunion and there he was. Turned out he was some distant type uncle I had."

Riza nearly sighed in relief. "Just proves my point of we never truly know another person."

"I suppose so…" Roy paused for a moment before continuing. "Do you need any help?"

Riza raised an eyebrow. " Why? Are you offering?"

"Only if you're accepting." Roy replied smoothly. "If you want to get done with whatever you're doing before they get back you might need an extra set of hands."

"I could use someone tall. That way I won't have to get the step ladder…" Riza considered.

"Well I'm the man for the job." Mustang stood up and headed for Elicia's room. Though he treaded carefully this time to avoid future injuries. As Ava followed him he asked her, "By the way what are you doing to her room?"

By this time they were in front of her open door. "Painting her walls. I finished priming it and was sketching the picture in pencil when I heard you falling."

Any thoughts of defending himself on the falling comment flew out the window when he saw the sketches she had started on one of the walls.


	21. Keep On Your Toes

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. **

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**I read the newest volume of FMA and I laughed so much.I kept re-reading the scene with Barry and Riza. It seems the longer I continue this story the more obvious it is that Roy would never fall for it in the manga. -laughs- Guess that's the benefit of fanfiction.**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Before Roy's utterly humiliating fall into the painful frilly toy chest Riza had actually managed to get some work down. She had been able to wash and put down a coat of primer over all five walls, including the ceiling.

She had also started a light pencil sketch on the wall to the right on the door when she had heard the crash and gone to investigate. Now after his moment of embarrassment he was standing gaping at the wall. Noticing a small pile of papers on the ground he picked them up and looked through them.

Each paper had a detailed ballroom scene on it. Coming across what appeared to be the one he was standing in front of his appreciation for the arts grew immensely. This particular section focused on one dancing couple with a few bystanders and background couples behind them. It looked like a picture out of one of Elicia's storybook.

It was on the tip of his tongue, the one about the girl who cleaned and had all the animal friends with the pumpkin coach and glass slipper. What was it called again?

Well, fairy tale title aside it was a beautiful design. Turning to the next picture Roy could only guess it was what was going to be the ceiling. "You drew all these?"

"Yes." Riza picked up her pencil and resumed her drawing. "It's not that impressive. Just something I though she might like."

Roy's mother had always told him it's not polite to stare at a pretty young lady. Then again she also told him not to join the military so it was pretty obvious how well he listened to her. "What do you mean 'not that impressive'? These are fantastic! In fact they remind me of someone else I know."

"Elicia?" Riza guessed with a raised eyebrow. After all it was for here and Maes treated her like a princess.

Roy shook his head. "Nope. It actually reminds me of someone I work with. I mentioned her a few minuets ago. Riza Hawkeye."

She stiffened ever so slightly before forcing herself to relax and continue drawing. With her eyes trained on the wall she responded. "I remember. You were asking me if I'm of any relation to her."

"That's her." Roy continued to flip through the drawings, seeming to find something a little different each time. "Not many people know this but she's a great artist. She doesn't sell them or anything but she could probably make a mint off them if she wanted."

The undercover lieutenant nodded.

"You should meet her."

Riza gripped the pencil tighter so she wouldn't drop it with these thoughts running through her head. 'He has to know. There's no way he doesn't know with all the questions he's asking me. It's way too much of a coincidence.'

"Well how about it? We can all go out for coffee or something. You could show her these and if your lucky she might show you some of her own pieces." Roy looked up and smiled. "What do you say?"

She was going to kill Hughes when he gets back.

"I don't think that's such a good idea." If Riza was grateful for anything the military taught her it was the ability to think and act quickly under less than ideal situations. "I don't really like showing people my art."

"What? Why?" He asked in a surprised tone.

Riza had been raised with a healthy self-esteem and was annoyed by girls who thought less of themselves. She didn't want to act like self conscious schoolgirl but desperate times called for desperate measures. "I just don't. Their personal things and I don't want to hear any complaints about them if people don't like them."

"Well that's understandable." Roy patted her on the shoulder. "But you shouldn't let the fear of what other people think hold you back. These drawings of yours are fantastic but if you're not ready to show them off I won't make you."

Riza nearly sighed in relief.

"Still the three of us should all go out together. You don't have to show her your art but I really think the two of you would get along really well together. I'm sure Hawkeye would be glad to have another girl to talk to considering she spends most of her days at an office full of males." Roy grinned down on her.

It took all of Riza's will power not to slap her forehead with her hand.


	22. Quite the Scorcher

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.**

**Ava is Riza. Riza is Ava. They are one and the same.**

**x**

It's a little early but I have a friend like Roy. He loves the heat. He likes it when the sun is out and 100 degrees is his cup of tea. Personally I think he's a nut basket but to each their own I guess.

x

Riza sat on the Hughes' porch taking a well-deserved break. She had convinced Roy to go out and buy more paint so she was currently enjoying the time she had before he returned. Taking a sip of her lemonade she let out a contented sigh.

Leaning back she stared up at the clear blue sky. 'Finally some alone time. This charade is harder than I thought and I just know he suspects something. If he doesn't then I don't know why I'm helping him overthrow the military.'

Indeed Riza Hawkeye was really beginning to question whether or not her Colonel was the right man to be ruling the country. They had known each other before the military, before the war, back when everything was much simpler. They had been on the battlefield together and on undercover missions. She seriously doubted wearing her hair down and putting in colored contacts would fool him.

Speaking of contacts… Riza reached up and rubbed her eye. She really didn't like them. Why would any sane woman want to change their natural eye color? No offence meant to woman that did but to her it didn't feel right.

Closing her not-her-own-green eyes she relaxed and ran a hand through her hair. At least Hughes' hadn't forced her dye her hair. Though she had quite the reputation of being harsh and one of the guys she was in fact female. Like most females she liked her hair.

If Maes had so much suggested cutting or coloring it in any way… well she would leave that to his imagination. Besides she had waited a long time to be able to grow her hair out and she like it at this length.

That and she couldn't imagine herself as a brunette or a red head. It was just…wrong for her.

Upon hearing the engine of a car approaching, Riza opened her eyes. Blinking a few times to let her eyes adjust to the change in light she wasn't surprised to see her boss pulling up in front of the house.

Either he was exceedingly stupid or he was trying to show off. It was a fine line but either way he was walking towards her while balancing heavy paint cans in both hands. He smiled. "I got everything you wanted. The paintbrushes are in the car."

As he continued advancing Riza concluded that any circus performer would be proud of his balancing act.

"Thank you." Standing up she stretched her back and arms before heading to the parked car. "There's some lemonade in the fridge and plenty of ice if you're thirsty."

Roy let out a small grunt as he put the paint cans on the porch steps. With a relieved sigh he took a seat on one of the steps and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. "I think I might take you up on that offer. It's turning out to be quite the scorcher, isn't it?"

"It is." Riza plopped right down next to Roy, placing the bag of paintbrushes to the side with the paint cans. "I've never cared for the heat."

Roy looked at her with a raised eyebrow. Looking up into the sky he put his hands behind his head and leaned against the railing. "Really? I love it when it's hot out. It relaxes me for some reason. I actually get more work down when it's hot out."

Poor Riza, it just wasn't her day for just as he said that she was taking a sip of her lemonade.

"Ava? Ava are you okay?" Roy scrunched his eyebrows together in worry. He patted her on the back in what he hoped was a comforting gesture.

Riza just waved a hand in his general direction. Through her coughing she managed a couple of simple sentences. "I'm fine. It just went down wrong that's all."

"You're sure that you're okay?" He really did sound concerned.

She nodded. "Never better. Really."

Now she wasn't lying when she had said her lemonade had gone down wrong. It did go down funny but only because she had stifled what could only be described as a cross between a snort and a laugh.

She had worked beside Roy Mustang for many years and could honestly say that he never worked willingly on his paperwork. Regardless of whether or not it was hot outside. Though the heat never seemed to bother him. He'd sit there in full uniform while every one else was taking off their heavy military issued jacket.

"So if you don't like the heat then what do you prefer? The snow?"

The sound of Roy's voice brought Riza out of her thoughts. "Snow it nice every so often. I like it in small amounts but I favor the rain more than anything."

Roy stuck out his tongue and made a disgruntled face. "I hate the rain."

"I don't. It's refreshing and it cleans everything." Riza stared at her hands thoughtfully, nostalgically. "The rain can wash away anything and we can start with a clean slate. Then the sun returns and that vision vanishes. Dries up with the water."

Roy, not knowing how to respond to that statement, decided that staying silent was the best thing her could do in this particular situation. So the two sat there on the Hughes' front porch not needing to say anything at all.


	23. Comfort Food in the Afternoon

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.**

**A/N: My brothers don't like caramel and I think they're crazy. I apologize to those who don't like caramel but you're odd. Not in a bad way. Just odd.**

Soon after their conversation Roy and Riza went back to work. The hours flew by and turned into days. The days dissolved into weeks which where filled with fun and paint. The room was transforming into a very realistic ballroom scene. All without a hitch. Well, excluding the little incident where half a gallon of paint fell onto the floor and splattered. But to spare the embarrassment of Roy having to go through and splattered paint off the walls before it dried we'll not mention it again.

As time passed the two shared many small conversations and learned a few odd details about each other. At least that was Riza's experience. For example he was quite the cook. Better than herself actually and she could hardly wait for another taste of his lasagna. She hadn't had a good lasagna in years. Never in a million years would she have guessed that it would come from him.

Another strange tidbit was that he didn't like caramel. Now that was just plain weird.

Speaking of weird people, Riza checked the clock. Hughes was due back that evening. Just enough time to move all of Elicia's things back into her room. The blond sniper stood up from where she was putting the finishing touches on the one of the dresses.

"It turned out amazing."

Riza turned around to find Roy standing in the doorway. She turned back so she was facing the walls. "It did turn out well. I'm just happy we got it done before they returned. Now all that's left is moving Elicia's things back in here."

"Should we start on that now?" Roy asked as he handed her a glass of water.

Riza shook her head and took a grateful gulp of her water. "We still need to let what's left of the paint to dry before we do that." She glanced at the clock. "It's just about lunchtime anyway. Let's take a break and eat. We can move everything when we're done."

"Sounds like a plan." Roy took her empty glass and the two headed for the kitchen. "What do you want to eat?"

Riza thought about it for a minute. "A sourdough grilled cheese sandwich. I haven't had one those since I was a kid."

"You're the boss." Roy was pulling out a frying pan when inspiration hit him. In addition to the pan he took out a pot. "I'll make tomato soup. Tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches is the greatest combination right up there with peanut butter and jelly."

"Really? I've never had the two together before." Riza commented.

Roy stared at her like she was crazy or something. "Have you been living under a rock for you're entire life? It's a classic simple meal that everybody loves."

"I most certainly have not." Riza glared at him as she took a can of tomato soup out of one of the cabinets and placed it on the counter. "I've just never really thought of putting the two together before. Seems kind of odd."

"You have not lived until you've eaten a grilled cheese sandwich dipped in tomato soup." Roy set to work on lunch. "It was my special treat for when I was sick. To this day it's still the only thing I could hold down when I have the flu."

"That was a lovely visual." Riza made a face as she took a seat at the dining room table.

He grinned sheepishly. "Sorry."

A short while later Roy was placing a bowl of steaming soup with a sourdough grilled cheese sandwich placed on a napkin on the side. He took the seat across from her and stared. "Now I'm not taking a single bite until you dip that sandwich in the soup and take a big bite."

Riza glanced up at him and waited a few moments. She let out a smile as he continued to wait patiently for her first bite. Letting out a small laugh she did what he wanted and took a bite.

Roy leaned forward a little as she swallowed. "Well? Is it or is it not the best?"

"Delicious."

Roy had a big silly grin on his face as he started on his own meal.


	24. A Little to the Left

**I had one reviewer comment on how they could tell that this story was far from over. Surprise! This particular story will actually be ending quite shortly. I do not anticipate going on for much longer. In fact it will probably be done before it reaches thirty chapters and that's the sad (for some of you) truth.**

Roy felt the beads of sweat roll down his neck as he moved the heavy dresser that belonged to his best friend's daughter. With one last grunt he placed in gently on the floor before sitting down himself. Normally moving a dresser wouldn't be so hard but he had already brought in a bookcase, toy chest, a small bed, and what he thought was a miniature vanity table. Could Hughes possibly spoil his daughter any more?

"Actually I think it would look better by the other wall." The blond indicated to the other side on the room.

He let out a small groan and got up. Bending down he picked up the girly dresser and placed it where she had indicated. He leaned against the piece of furniture for support. What he wouldn't give for a glass of water…

"You know what? I think I liked it more back where we originally had it. Move it back." At Roy's look of disbelief and annoyance she smiled and added a please.

Ever the gentleman he once again moved the dresser back to its initial position. He wiped his forehead with the back of his hand and let out a sigh. Putting his hands on his mid-back he pushed until he heard a pop. Oh yeah. That felt good.

"On second thought could you move it over to the left about a foot?"

Roy looked up at her. His bangs obstructed his view slightly. He tried to blow them out of the way but with no success. "You're enjoying this aren't you?"

She gave a sly smirk.

That answered his question. Vowing to himself that this was the last time lifting this stupid piece of heavy wood he moved the dresser over the requested foot to the left and looked up at the blond expectantly. He half expected her to announce that it would look better somewhere else.

Walking over to where he had placed the newly painted dresser she put Elicia's giant white bear with the big pink bow around his neck right on top. She adjusted his bow and surveyed their work. "Perfect."

Roy did a deep theatrical bow.

She placed a hand on his head and ruffled up his hair. Strangely it reminded her of how she greeted Black Hayate when he was in need of attention. "Good boy. I think you've earned yourself a treat."

The fact that he was being treated like a dog crossed his mind only for a moment as he watched her walk out on the room. He continued staring at the doorway for a few moments after she had disappeared from sight. Then a thought occurred to him. 'What kind of treat was he getting?'

That snapped him out of his thoughts and had him in the kitchen in no time at all. There stood his blond beauty at the counter scooping ice cream into bowls. Using her thumb to help get the last scoop in the bowl she licked the remaining chocolate off and put the container back into the freezer. Upon turning around she found Roy blatantly staring at her. "Can I help you?"

He shook his head and took a seat at the Hughes' dining table. "So is one of those for me?"

"No." She answered with a hint of sarcasm in her voice. "I'm expecting someone to come by and it's for him. If you want some go get it yourself."

He just stared at her with a slightly confused expression.

"Of course one of them is for you." She rolled her eyes as she placed the bowl full of chocolate ice cream in front of his and took a seat across from him. "Why else would I have two bowls if I was only serving myself?"

He bit his lip to stop the first response that came to mind from flying out and causing him bodily harm. Being a bit of a ladies man did have its advantages every so often. Wasn't worth the black eye he would be sure to receive. Instead he concentrated on turning his chocolate ice cream into a chocolate milkshake by stirring and mashing up his treat. "I don't know that's why I asked."

She raised her eyebrow slightly at the slight nervousness that she detected in his voice. Shrugging it off she ate a spoonful of her chocolate delight. "Well I do believe we're done. The walls are finished. Her furniture is all in there. We've cleaned up everything. All we can really do is wait."

"How about a shower?" Roy finished draining his bowl. "I sure could use one. How about you?"

The blond sniper stared at a lock of hair that was hanging in her line of vision. It was painted a light purple. "Definitely. Do you want to go first or can I?"

Roy picked up both bowls and gave a slight bow. "Ladies first."

She just rolled her eyes.


	25. A Bed Of Roses

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.**

A nice hot shower was just what the first lieutenant needed. She stayed in there for nearly a half an hour scrubbing away the sweat, paint and dirt until she at last felt she was clean as she could possibly get. With that she turned off the water and dried off. Slipping into a good length skirt that didn't reveal too much she continued dressing herself until she was ready for the day.

Well, almost ready.

Her naturally amber colored eyes glared menacingly at the green contacts that were staring at her in the most innocent way. She was really learning to dislike them. They were just further proof of her deceit. Riza shook her head. She was reading way too much into this. When this was all over she was heading over to the shooting range, maybe go for a run with Black Hayate. She just needed to do something that was part of her normal routine. Something familiar.

"Ava!"

She was startled out of her thoughts by a sudden knock on the door.

Riza let out a small sigh that the man on the other side couldn't hear. Back to the masquerade, in which she starred in. "What is it?"

"Are you almost done in there?" Roy called through the bathroom door. "I want to get into some clean clothes and wash up before Hughes gets back. I could only imagine what he would say if he caught me in his shower and you out here."

The blond let out a small groan and rubbed her temples with her hand. She knew exactly what he would say. She could almost hear him now. _'Well, it's about time! I knew you two would end up together if given the right circumstances! And you said it wouldn't work... ah, sometimes I'm just too darn clever for my own good. So when can I expect the wedding invitation? Or maybe a birth announcement? Hey if it's a boy will you name him Maes?'_

She would never hear the end of it.

"Almost." Riza put in her dreaded contacts and then dug through a drawer until she found her brush. Finally ready she opened the door and stepped outside.

Only to almost run right into Roy, who was standing in front of the door with clothes and towel in hand. The in disguise sniper blinked a couple of times as she found herself staring at the dirty white shirt that covered his chest. She had to tilt her head up so that she could look him in the eye. "Any reason as to why you're practically hugging the door?"

He just gave a sheepish smirk. "No reason. You done?"

"All yours." She stepped out of the way so he could get through. "Now go. You don't exactly smell like a bed of roses."

With that last comment she headed for the kitchen and since she had her back turned she failed to see him take a quick sniff of his underarm before shrugging to himself and stepping into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

Riza grumbled under her breath as she slowly worked through the various knots in her hair with a comb. Keeping her strokes slow and gentle she made gradual progress. It was times like these that she missed her short boy cut hairstyle and remembered why she had it cut in the first place. It was much easier to handle. A few strokes with a brush and she was ready to go. Now she had to work through all the knots and tangles.

Roy Mustang walked in a clean and content to find the blond woman working on a particularly frustrating patch. He stood leaning against the doorway with a towel draped around his neck. She had her back turned towards him and he watched her, amusement apparent in his eyes.

"Are you planning on staring at me all day? You're starting to creep me out."

The flame alchemist startled slightly but smiled took a seat in front of her. "Sorry. I'm just not used to seeing such a domestic scene. I guess I just kinda got lost in the moment."

She gave him a look that obviously displayed the fact that she thought he was crazy. "Roy?"

"Yeah?" He rubbed the towel against his head and dried the inside of his ears.

"You're weird."

He just chuckled as he watched her put down the brush and start working on a difficult tangle with her bare hands. Her fingers carefully pulled at the strands of hair but her efforts proved to be in vain. Just as she was about to reach the point of getting up and looking for a pair of scissors to take care of the annoying knot an very simple yet entirely intimate event occurred.

All of a sudden her own small hands were replaced with a pair of bigger hands. Though slightly clumsy the fingers diligently worked on the patch of hair, slowly making progress. She watched him with both confusion and a warm relaxed feeling. Before too long he had gotten through the knot and was gently smoothing out the strands. With his fingers still threaded in the golden strands he lifted his face so that they were looking each other in the eye.

It was one of those magical moments that only occurred in movies and fairytales.

Suddenly there was a bright flash of light and both pairs of eyes widened like deers in the headlights.


	26. Dead Man Running

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.**

"Well, that's a keeper." Hughes announced proudly with a smile plastered on his face and a camera in hand. He lifted it once again and looked through the lens. Seeing their annoyed expression directed at him, he waved a hand at them. "Don't mind me. You two lovebirds just go back to what you were doing. I just want to get a few more shots to put into your wedding album."

Those annoyed expressions quickly turned to glares of anger.

He didn't seem to notice as he tried getting a better angle. "There's no need to thank me. I'm happy to do it. Now, stop focusing your attention on me and start focusing on each other. Pretend I'm not here. I'm invisible. Go on, make with the lovey dovey googly eyes."

Roy slowly rose from his chair. His voice a deathly calm. "Hughes."

Maes knew the warning signs when he saw them. Holding the camera he threw them a smile and headed for the door. "As much as I'd love to stay and chat, but I better get going. Gracia's getting a sleeping Elicia out of the car and I have to get our luggage inside. So, if you'll excuse me..."

He ran for the door, camera still in hand.

"Hughes!" With one very ticked off flame alchemist hot on his heels. "Give me that camera!"

"Sorry, no can do." He called out from over his shoulder, though he did it quietly as he was passing his sleeping daughter being held by his beautiful wife. He stopped momentarily to take a picture of the two women in his life and to give Gracia a quick peck on the cheek before taking off down the dirt road.

Roy also paused momentarily to greet his best friend's wife before following the dead man running.

As Gracia watched the two becoming smaller and smaller as they ran to the horizon, Riza walked out to the front porch and joined her. Before long the two childish men had disappeared from sight. The blond sniper was the first one to speak up. "I take it you had a good trip."

"A very nice trip." Gracia smiled in agreement, shuffling her daughter into a more comfortable position. "I can see where Maes gets his dotting nature from. They simply couldn't get enough of Elicia. I'm still seeing spots from all the flashes from the cameras."

The blond sniper instantly recalled the event of a sudden flash of light and Hughes standing there. "I know the feeling but speaking of pictures would you like to see Elicia's new room?"

"You finished it?" The devoted mother asked with a slight tinge of awe in her voice.

Riza nodded. "Roy helped me out. Care to see?"

"Of course." With Riza holding the door open for her, she carefully made her way inside. Elicia stayed sound asleep as the to women made their way to her room. "Thank you. So you said that Roy was helping you? Does that mean he still hasn't put two and two together?"

She let out a sigh. "I don't know for sure but I swear he knows something. This plan is just too obvious and simple not to fail. I mean really what did I do? Let my hair down and change my eye color? If he hasn't figured this out by now then I don't think he ever will." By now they were standing outside the closed door of Elicia's room. Riza opened the door wide open.

Gracia was speechless as she stepped into the newly designed room. "Riza it's beautiful. Perfect. Absolutely perfect."

"Thank you. I'm glad you like it." Riza said as she watched the young mother run a hand over a dancing couple that was on the closest wall. She was quite proud of herself and hoped Elicia loved it as much as her mother seemed to.

Gracia carefully put her little girl into bed before speaking again. "I'm sure Elicia will too, once she wakes up. On another note I was thinking of painting the living room a warmer color. Maybe a red or dark orange, what do you think?"

"If you want a warm color then a deep wine red or burgundy would be nice." Riza commented as the two women made their way to the kitchen. "Or if you want a cooler color I'd suggest a nice shade of blue, kind of a mix of gray, blue and a hint of green."

She considered it for a moment before shaking her head. "Though I do like the color blue I think some darker shade of red would look best. Would you like some tea?"

"Tea would be great." Riza took a seat.

Gracia sat next the undercover lieutenant. "But if I do repaint the living room then I would have to get new curtains. Any ideas?"

So the two women chatted about colors and patterns that would look best. They even considered having more than one color. Like a rich golden yellow on one wall with the rest painted a wine red but eventually decided against it. Both ignoring the fact that they had no idea where or when the two men would be back.


	27. The Road Home

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.**

"Hughes, I swear that if weren't for the fact that I have no idea where we are or how to get back you'd be toast." The irritated colonel grumbled as he followed his best friend through some remote little forest. "How'd we end up here anyway? I don't remember running past any trees."

"Sure you do." His friend answered cheerfully as he ducked under a low hanging branch. "You hit your head when you tired lumping over that log but your foot snagged. Remember? That's when you picked up that rock and hit me in the back."

"That was here?" Roy glanced around him, taking in his surroundings.

"Yep." Hughes nodded and stopped. He looked from side to side and his brow furrowed- almost as if he was trying to remember something.

"So, which way do we go now?" Roy asked as he sat on a nearby rock and shook some pebbles that had been hurting his feet out of his shoes. His friend's slightly bemused expression was starting to worry him. "You do know how to get back to your house. Don't you?"

"Of course I do!" He replied confidently as he faced his right side. "We have to this way!" He took a few steps in the direction he had pointed in before stopping and turning around. "I meant that way." He started walking in the opposite direction. Pretty soon he had stopped once again. "Or was it the first direction?" He let out a big laugh and scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Well what do you know! I don't know how to get back!!"

"We're lost?!"

"I do believe we are." The light hearted man sat cross-legged on the ground. "Now that's odd. I could have sworn I knew where we were."

"Hughes!"

"Yes?" He looked up to find his friend once again advancing upon him in a menacing fashion. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately now that he thought about it. Uh-oh. His snapping fingers were itching. That was his cue to leave. Scrambling to his feet he once again took off. At least they were staying in shape, right?

As Gracia set the table, she couldn't help but glanced out the window.

"Elicia's still fast asleep." Riza started placing the food on the table. "The boys not back, yet?"

She nodded.

"Do you want me to go out and look for them?" The undercover lieutenant volunteered.

She shook her head. "Let's give them another ten minutes. Knowing Maes and Roy they'll be barging in any second now exhausted and starving."

Riza nodded and the two continued preparing for dinner. Sure enough the front door opened and in stumbled in the men, looking like they hadn't stopped running since they had left hours ago. This wasn't too far off. The women glanced at them momentarily before returning to their work. As the guys made their way to the bathroom Riza could have sworn she heard Hughes say something like 'told you knew way.'

Whatever that meant.


End file.
